Have you ever said that?
When I was younger I was taught not to say that. I was also taught that anyone who said that to me was trying to manipulate me.
I guess I’ve always agreed with that teaching – I don’t want to use someone’s “love” toward me as a club to beat them with – “You must not love me because you don’t _______” – to guilt them into doing what I want them to do. That feels selfish.
I also agree that we should be leery of anyone who says that to us – for the same reason.
But, for a few years now, I’ve been thinking about this statement that Jesus makes in John 14:15: If ye love me, keep my commandments.
Hmm.
Jesus says we show our love to him by an action – keeping his commandments.
Interesting since the world tells us love is a feeling.
But Jesus clearly says it’s an action. (And I know – there are three different kinds of ‘love’ in the Greek, and only one in English, but the same principles apply.)
If you go to I Corinthians – the “love” chapter – and read it, it supports what Jesus said: Love is action after action after action.
Love is:
Patience
Kindness
Longsuffering (suffers a long time)
Not proud (humble)
Not boastful
seeing the best in people
endurance in and through trials
believing the best of people
not looking out for yourself
bearing ALL things (emphasis mine)
always hoping
something that will never fail
I look at that list, and I am convicted, because I have lied. I’ve told people I love them when I really don’t.
How patient have I been? Not very.
How willing to suffer am I? Ha. Maybe for a couple of minutes. (Is that a long time?)
How often do I look for the best in people? *snort* We love gossip, don’t we?
How often do I stand beside someone when our relationship gets rocky? I’m an expert at bailing on relationships.
How kind am I? How humble? How often do I want to bear all things in any relationship? Ha! I don’t want to bear anything. I want all my relationships to be equal where everyone does as much giving as I do.
And yet, God commands us to “love” everyone. Jesus goes so far as to say that the world will know we’re Christians by the love we have toward one another.
Is it just me or are Christians some of the hardest people on the planet to love? Seriously. Sometimes I look at Christians and shake my head and think, “Man, they should know better.” The funny thing is, other Christians look at me and think the same thing!
And yet, Jesus showed love – showed his eternal hope for us; love always hopes – by saying that the world would know we were his followers by the love we had toward one another. Right there is an example of love. He’s not giving up on us. He believed then, and still does today, that we will learn to love each other. That’s an example of love that doesn’t lose hope.
I can think of a few Christians right now who I would walk a mile out of my way so I wouldn’t have to nod at them on the street, and yet, Jesus is patiently hoping that I will show the world I’m a Christian by loving my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ.
Jesus always thinks the best of me.
Jesus hasn’t lost hope in me.
Jesus is longsuffering – patiently waiting for me to do the right thing.
Jesus has not walked away from a relationship with me just because I’m a sinner.
Jesus isn’t insisting that I need to put as much into our relationship as He does.
Jesus isn’t looking out for himself by refusing to be associated with me, since I’m not nearly as good as He is and never will be.
Jesus believes someday I’m going to get it right.
Jesus believes that I’m truly trying to do the best I can.
Jesus says that my effort, as feeble as it is, is enough. He’ll make up the difference.
If I’m to love as Jesus loved, can I replace “Jesus” with my own name in those statements? Can I put the name of any of my family or friends or acquaintances in place of myself?
Jessie always thinks the best of Watson.
Jessie hasn’t lost hope in her friends.
Jessie is longsuffering – patiently waiting for her children to do the right thing.
Jessie has not walked away from a relationship with anyone just because they’re a sinner.
Jessie isn’t insisting that Watson needs to put as much into their relationship as she does.
Jessie isn’t looking out for herself.
Jessie believes that her friends and family and other Christians are doing the best they can.
Jessie will make up the difference in any relationship because…that’s what love is. Love is making up the difference. Love is being so humble, so NOT focused on yourself that you don’t even notice there is a difference. That you don’t care how you’re being treated and you don’t base your actions or decisions on what’s “best” for you.
Love is covering sin – not hiding it – but not allowing it to determine how I treat people. Not allowing the unkind/mean/inconsiderate way other people treat me (and this includes my spouse, my parents, my siblings, my children, my friends) to determine how I will treat them.
So, obviously, I love romance. And I love relationships that are equal – where both people in the relationship are working to have a beautiful one. Where friends support each other equally and no one is what the world calls a “doormat.”
Reading a “romance” where one person does all the giving and one person does all the taking would not be a satisfying read to me. Reading about friends like that would irritate me. The world would call it toxic. But there is no place in scripture where Jesus tells us to avoid relationships like that. None.
Think about the relationships that Jesus had. None of them were equal. People were constantly coming to him, wanting things. Wanting healed. Wanting his time, his power, his attention. As soon as things got rocky, even his disciples left him. He didn’t have anyone with whom he had a 100% – 100% relationship, who gave him as much as he gave them.
Think about your relationship with Jesus.
I’ll think about mine.
How “equal” is my relationship with Jesus? Well, let’s see. He died for me.
The only thing I could possibly do that would be anywhere near close to “equal” to that (so Jesus isn’t in a “toxic” relationship with me where He does all the giving and I do all the taking) would be to live my life for him. But daily I choose what makes me happy, what makes me comfortable, what is convenient and what I want, rather than giving my life in return for his death.
Jesus loves me so much he died for me. Then He said, if you love me, keep my commandments.
Have I even taken the time to figure out what they are?
Jesus loves me so much he was willing to take the punishment (death) for a debt he did not owe – my debt – so I could spend eternity with him.
Jesus wants people to look at me and see Him. That means I need to be less and allow Him to be more.
Jesus loves me so much that he’s willing to turn the other check daily, hourly, sometimes minute by minute as I spurn his offer of love and friendship in order to pursue what I think will make me happy.
Jesus wants people to know I’m a Christian by the love I show others. But I would rather love myself and look after ME.
I like to talk about what’s wrong with the world and how terrible politicians are and look down on people who don’t do the things I think are obvious that they should do, when I don’t do the ONE thing that I could do that would be my contribution to making the world a better place – love.
Love as hard as I can. Unconditionally. (Boy that’s scary, isn’t it?) Love without expecting anything in return. Love through the hurt. Love no matter how terribly I’m treated. Love through the worst. Love through the rocky parts. Love those sinners who call themselves Christians. Love them hard. Love them long. Love them with my actions. Love them like Jesus loves them.
Better yet, love them like Jesus loves me.
Go ahead. Challenge yourself. Read that list above and start with your spouse. Start with your family. Start with your friends. Start with your neighbor or the people in your church. Just start loving.
Because love like that can change the world.
Have a beautiful and blessed weekend!
Thanks for spending time with me today.
Hugs and love,
~Jessie 